NR5

for a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin- real life.

but there was always some obstacle in the way,

something to be forgotten through first,

some unfinished business,

time still to be served,

a debt to be paid.

at last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my lfe.

this perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness.

happiness is the way.

so treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.

 

 

happiness is a journey, not a destination.... -souza

(how many times have i came acrss this quote, each time a different meaning to me)

i haven't dealt with babies much in the past, and today my boss brought his baby in for the afternoon. reality check and i've noticed two things, first, i refer the baby as 'it' rather than 'he', unconciously i kept saying, 'it's crying', 'it's so cute' and etc.... ; second, i'm actually quite scared to hold it (errr... see how i refered to the baby as 'it' again...), well i refused to hold ethan(the baby's name) until couple of hours later, it's just so tiny, so afraid that i might drop him, or something else bad... very inexpereinced. And omg, he cried (i typed 'it' again, but i decided to change it to 'he') and cried, on the top of his lung, very hysterical, he was hungry again!! for the four hours he's here, he's eaten twice. (i know babies eat heaps, but yeah...)

一直以来是我没有真正地面对自己，没有真正和完全的接受自己

自我矛盾只不过是自我压抑

以前潜意识逃避的问题终于追上了我，现在终于可以面对，和自我反省

其实现在只是站在这个路岔口， 不知道自己会怎样走过这条道

 

当我能够完整的面对镜子里的我， 我就踏出了第一步

 

sounds a bit late, but better than never.

放空

 

THEN

 

FOCUS, CONCETRATION AND DETERMINATION

 

无处安放的心情这次会随着什么消失呢。

 

 

 

i closed my eyes, i see nothing

i closed my fist, i have nothing

i closed my heart, i feel nothing

someone will kiss my eyes

someone will hold my hands

someone will step into my heart

 

i've allowed too many things entering and staying in my life, some unnecessary things have been clogging up my life, muddling my vision and wasting my time. Finally the spring clean that i've needed. so the selection process begins.

 

 

 

was feeling dizzy today, and felt it like i was going to faint a couple of times, which has never happened before, weird.

 

finally watched the victory speech by Obama, a great orator indeed, all eyes are watching now. america gotta be one of the most controversial country exsiting, i suppose america is a place where all things are possible, good and bad. i know i am intrigued by his speech, looking forward to see the changes Obama will bring.

most memorable from the speech - 'Yes, we can !'

 

so much has happened around the world in 2008, what a year it has been.

 

　　有时将来马上弹，尽出天下无声曲。

 

乖乖牌被小恶魔关起来了，我这可是为她着想  

最近有我代班

所以可能会小小颠覆一下

反正下一站没有什么人会认识我，嘿嘿。。。

乖乖牌回来的时候应该会有所升华哦，有所期待吧 ;)

 

如果有事找她，就请留言吧， 她会看得到的。

 

god, i'm good

Hold on
Keeps gettin' better

 

oh yeah...errr... she's sorry that she got upset by other people's actions

she has realised that it's other people's fark ups, she shouldn't have let it affected her

so yeah... =)

 

 

i'm really glad that i'm leaving here in five days time

i am overwhelmed

sometimes i can feel myself suffocating by this intensity

i know i will be fine, but this point in time, i am lossing breath

i will sort myself out

i always do

 

 

冻结。。。

失落时的夜晚会刮着冷风

听的音乐会特别的伤感

身体的每根神经里都会窜流着那美丽的蓝色细胞

冷风轻轻的刺激着我的鼻子

酸酸的，泪水轻易的涌出